BORRASCA - Bagian 5 - Chapter 1 (English)

How long had I been asleep? And when had I realized that I wasn’t anymore?

I watched the ceiling fan circle slowly above me, doing nothing to dissipate the clouds of cigarette smoke that had drifted above my room for years. I started most mornings this way. But no…it wasn’t morning, was it? I turned my head toward the bedroom window and confirmed the sky was dark outside of it. The last thing I recalled was being in the bathroom and then… silence…and sweet darkness. Seth.

I sat up and chugged an old bottle of water sitting on the floor next to the bed and then threw the empty bottle at my closet door. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag, releasing a cloud of smoke up into the apathetic fan. It floated idly above me.

Pulling on an old hoodie, I walked out into the small living room of the apartment I shared with my roommate.

“Evening, Princess.” Seth was reclining on the end of couch, fingers flying across the keyboard of a notebook sitting on his lap. A confusing, yet edgy indie movie played on the TV in front of him. This was pretty much Seth’s life on any given day and it perfectly summed up all of my interactions with him since I’d moved in. Well, all of my sober interactions with him, anyway. I pulled down on my sleeves to subconsciously hide my arms like it made any sort of difference. But of course it didn’t – Seth already knew.

He noticed what I was doing and his smile fell into a sobering look. “Found you passed out in the bathroom again.”

“Sorry”. I rasped, and reached for a half can of Mountain Dew that had been sitting on the counter for God only knows how long.

“You do realize how difficult it is for me to drag a 6’3” dude out of the bathtub and down the hall to his room.”

“Next time just leave me there, man.”

“Hardly. You would have choked on your own vomit.”

I shrugged. I knew this was the death lurking in my future anyway. But heroin afforded me one convenience that I refused to part with: a dreamless sleep. I’d die before I surrendered that. Besides, if the nightmares came back I’d probably just kill myself anyway.

“You had some visitors today while you were passed out. Dretti stopped by.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. He left you more drugs. Said you could pay him when you had the money. You know, he must be the sweetest, most generous drug dealer in all of Chicago.”

“Where is it?”

“You were sleeping like a baby in the tub so I just left it next to you.” Seth said.

“Cool.”

“In the toilet.”

“Dude.”

“Look man, if you die I don’t get your half of the rent. And if I don’t get your half of the rent, I have to get a real job. It’s just business, not personal.”

Of course that wasn’t true. Seth and I had met at a darker time in both our lives and shared the sort of bond that is only forged in such circumstances.

“Who was the other?” I asked.

“The other what?”

“The other visitor.”

“Ah – a girl actually. I told her you were out. Figured you’d prefer I tell her that over the truth.”

“Did she say what she wanted?” I asked.

“No.”

I swore. That was never good. It was probably just some girl coming over to beg for free drugs, which I didn’t currently have because Seth had flushed them down the toilet. And I would never let her touch my private stash. That had to be it. What the fuck else could she want?

“Great. So some chick either wants a hook up or is coming over to tell me she’s pregnant.”

Seth scoffed. “You wish. This chick was way beyond anything you could ever get.”

“Really? Because she did come asking around for me, didn’t she?”

“Sure. But I’m the one who got her number.”

“No you fucking didn’t.” I laughed as I walked into the kitchen and took one of our three glasses out of the cupboard.

“Oh, I did,” Seth held up a torn shard of white paper. “She gave it to me and asked me to call her when you came home.” He used air quotes on the last two words.

“Yeah, well don’t. I don’t want anything to do with-”

There was a knock at door. I shot Seth a poisonous look.

“What?” He threw up his hands and stood up. “She’s really hot and you can’t stand in the way of true love.”

“Don’t open it,” I warned as he walked over to the door.

“Sorry, Sam, but you know I have a thing for redheads.”

“Redheads?” What? Do I know any redheads? I couldn’t place one for the life of me. And then Seth opened the door to reveal Kimber Destaro standing on the other side. I suddenly felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on my soul.

I had a few seconds to study her before her eyes found me leaning against the counter in the kitchen. She was still very short but her hair was longer, halfway down her back it looked like. And she was, of course, almost ten years older than the last time I’d seen her. Looking at her after all these years was physically crippling. I had to make a concentrated effort to stay on my feet while my knees tried to buckle underneath me. Just seeing her face brought back painful memories I thought long buried. She was like a mirage long dead – returning to torture me.

Kimber’s eyes finally found me as she nervously clutched her cell phone in her hands, turning it over and over against her chest.

“Hi, Sam.” She said with more confidence than she clearly felt.

Since Kimber had actually spoken to me I could probably confirm that this wasn’t a nightmare: she was really here. And if she was real, that meant that it was all real, too. A shudder racked through my body and I wound my white-knuckled fingers around the edge of the counter top.

“Why are you here?” I hadn’t meant to sound so angry. My words seemed to rattle Kimber and she took a step back.

“I..well, I…”

Seth watched the exchange with interest but didn’t intervene.

“You shouldn’t be here, Kimber.” I said. I just wanted her to leave – this needed to end before I lost it. After she was gone I could pretend she was just a nightmare seeping through the veil.

Kimber hesitated. I saw her calculating in her mind as she watched me, her lips moving only slightly as she organized all the variables in her head. It was such a Kimber thing to do and it made me realize how much I missed her.

I saw the exact moment Kimber found in her mind what she was looking for.

“Did you get my letter?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And…I threw it away.” Lies.

She faltered for only a moment. “Did you read it?”

I didn’t say anything but I knew she could read the answer on my face. When neither of us spoke, an awkward tension began to bleed into the room.

“So, I’m Seth.” My roommate said, still casually leaning against the door.

Kimber held my stare for a moment longer and then broke it to finally walk into the room. Seth let the door close behind her.

“Kimber.” She said to him.

“And how do you know Sam?”

“We grew up together.”

“Neat. Sam and I were cellmates in prison.”

“Seth!” I snapped.

“I was in for a super, sexy felony: Computer Crimes. Sam was in for…”

“I swear to God, Seth…” I warned.

“Harder stuff. Goodnight all.” He said cheerfully and left the room. I kept my eyes on him as he made his way down the hall to his room, cursing his every step.

When Seth’s door had finally closed behind him, I reluctantly let my gaze drift back into the room. Kimber was watching me with an expression I couldn’t read – but I didn’t like it.

“The letter.” She repeated.

“Yes, I read it.”

Kimber continued to stare at me, waiting for more. And she cracked me just that easily.

“I don’t what to say.” I ran my hands through my mess of dark, unwashed hair. “I’m sorry that we couldn’t- that we didn’t-“

“Sam, stop. I’m not here for apologies. I don’t need one – you guys got me out.”

“Kyle got you out.” His name seemed to impale her. I wondered how long it had been since she’d heard it.

“Well, that’s kind of why I’m here. There are others, Sam. Women who never escaped that place.”

“Yeah.”

“I want to help them.”

“How?”

“I want Drisking to be exposed. I want what they’ve done to be known to the world.”

“Yeah, so do I. So do a lot of people. But the majority of us aren’t in a position to do anything about it.” I needed a drink.

I pulled a plastic bottle of cheap vodka from the freezer and poured it into the glass.

“Do you want some?” I asked, almost as an afterthought.

“God, yes.” Kimber said, and I took another glass down from cupboard, filled it, and handed it to her. She drank half of it in one sip which seemed to steady her.

“So what do you want from me, Kimber?” I asked as she set the glass down.

“I want you to come back to Drisking with me.”

I laughed and then tipped my glass back, allowing the hot sting of the alcohol to unfurl down my throat.

“I’m serious, Sam.”

“Yeah, the answer is no. We’d never leave that place alive.”

“We did once.”

“We’re not going back.”

“I have a contact. You know, some- someone on the inside.”

“The inside of what? Drisking? Borrasca? The sheriff’s office?”

“They know stuff, okay? And they’re willing to help us, that’s all we need to know.”

“No, we’d need a lot more information than that.”

“And you’ll get it – later. After we get there.”

“Did you really come all the way from California to ask me this? After nine years?”

“Actually, I wasn’t asking.” Kimber looked at me coolly and crossed her arms in front of her with ironclad conviction. This wasn’t the Kimber I remembered. I didn’t know this woman.

“So somebody told you that they were going to help you take down a very highly connected and protected crime syndicate and you believed them.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“So you don’t trust them.”

“I didn’t say that either.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t happening. We’d be dead the minute we crossed the county line.”

“Are you saying you won’t go?”

“Fuck no, I won’t go.” I said, pouring myself more vodka.

“Alright,” Kimber said, and set her glass on the table beside her. “Well, thank you for the drink, but I have to go.”

Something lurched inside of me. I couldn’t let her leave, not when I’d just gotten her back. So why was I being such a dick?

“Wait,” I took a step toward her before I realized what I’d done. “Where are you going?”

“I told you,” she snapped as she started toward the door. “I’m going to Drisking.”

I was on her before she’d finished her sentence and yanked her away from the door. “The hell you are!”

“I told you I was going, Sam, and I fucking meant it!”

“I didn’t know you intended to go alone. That’s goddamn suicide!”

“I don’t care. It needs to end.”

“Why does it have to be you?” I pled desperately. My heart began to sink as I realized I did know this Kimber. Her mind was made up and there would be no stopping her.

“Who else, Sam? Who else but us? There’s no one.”

The thought of my best friend back at that place seared through my brain like a hot iron. I had to make Kimber see reason, even if I had to hurt her. There was no other way.

“So, after what Killian Clery did to you there, after all you suffered at Borrasca, you want to go back.”

She snatched her arm back from my grasp. “Yes. Because there are other people still suffering as we stand here arguing about this. We shouldn’t have even waited this long to try and help them.”

“No, wait, we can think this through. I’ll try again with the FBI. The cops. INTERPOL. I don’t know, whoever will listen.”

“Did that work before?” She asked.

It hadn’t.

“Sam, if I try to report the ra…what happened to me, I’ll show up on their radar immediately and be dead by morning.”

No more pretentions, no more manipulations. I had to bare my soul to this girl if I wanted to stop her. “Please.” I said desperately. “Please, Kimber, I’m begging you not to make me do this.”

“I’m sorry…but, I’m going.”

I was panicking, unable to control my breathing or the pounding of my heart which was racing to a finish line that lay somewhere in the immediate future.

“Fuck!” I screamed and swept Kimber’s vodka glass off the table to where it shattered against the wall. This didn’t seem to surprise her and Kimber kept her composure while I raged. “Fuuuuuuck!”

It was over. I was going back to Drisking.