BORRASCA - Bagian 5 - Chapter 16 (English)

There’s a lot to think about when you’re walking towards your end, but instead of the existential bullshit I expected my mind wandered in and out of the past. I reveled in memories I’d been unable to conjure for a decade, of my family as we were and my childhood friends. It was not something I wanted to forget again.

Finding the mine wasn’t hard, I simply followed the road we had turned onto the day before. I had to go off trail a few times but I knew the map well – recalling details came so easily to me now. Still, as much as I hated to admit it, I didn’t want to die sober. I wondered how much it would hurt. If he shot me in the head, not a lot I thought – at least that was something to hope for.

I was wearing six layers of clothing but frozen to the core by the time the sun turned the sky a murky gray.  The cigarettes were gone and I had been jonesing for another for the past hour and a half. I needed more time but I knew I was almost there.

I left the trail I’d been on to make one more shortcut along the river and within twenty minutes I could see the edge of the mining camp. The sheriff must have been tracking me because he was already standing in the large clearing facing my direction, surrounded by nine of his men – and a smirking Jimmy Prescott. Jimmy was standing a few feet behind my father, smoking a cigarette and watching me as I approached. He winked.

Before I knew they were behind me, two deputies still in uniform grabbed my arms, pinned them to my sides, and dragged me the last few yards into camp. They dumped me at the sheriff’s feet and he looked down at me in disgust. Thirteen. Thirteen men. And one bullet. I couldn’t believe it all came down to the lies and whims of Jimmy-fucking-Prescott.

I stood up – noting all the guns suddenly drawn on me in response –  and looked at the sheriff eye to eye. I was sickened to realize that we were almost identical in every way. His hair was the same dark brown color as mine, untouched by age.  The skin on his face boasted only a few light creases and my terrible lifestyle and weathered features somehow matched his older age. I wondered how had Kimber stomached my face every day without turned away in disgust.

“Hello, Graham.” I said and spat into the snow between us. “You’re a goddamn disgrace.”

“Shut the fuck up.” The sheriff said. “Grigg, teach my son some respect.”

I didn’t bother to defend myself and I wouldn’t have had the time anyway – Grigg knocked me back into the snow before I could even blink. His fist split my cheek open under my left eye and I didn’t rush to get up from the cold, numbing snow that was now pressed against my face. It was in that moment that I felt Borrasca all around me again. It was as deafening as the last time.

I could sense it in the air: the fear, the suffering, and the pain. And I could almost hear them whispering through the walls like they had ten years before. Help me, please. Help me or kill me, but don’t leave me here. The building to the sheriff’s back was most surely the dorm. It was larger than the other one but radiated the same aura of agony and death.

“Now listen the fuck up, Samuel: this little charade of yours ends today. It appears you actually believe a woman and a drug addict could singlehandedly dismantle a business this size so you must be fucking stupid. And that makes me feel sorry for you. So why don’t you just hand over the gun and go back to the ghetto you crawled out of.”

I pushed myself to my knees. “No.”

“No? Are you dog-shit insane, son? You broke into my house, destroyed pictures of my daughter, and beat my wife. You’re lucky you’re still alive. I’ve killed children for less.”

And looking at him now, I didn’t doubt it. “You need to die.”

“Well then by all means, take your shot,” the sheriff swept out his arms mockingly. “We know you only have a round or two left because yesterday we heard your 15 shots into the fucking trees.” His deputies laughed but the sheriff remained sober. “Just remember, boy, your aim better be true, because when you come at the king you better not miss.”

I fell onto my arms as my lungs erupted into a sudden coughing fit. Even if I could escape after the sheriff was dead my lungs wouldn’t hold up. I was fucked. I knew it, the sheriff knew it, and his men knew it.  And while the sheriff’s gun hadn’t left his holster, all but Jimmy Prescott had weapons trained on my chest and head. If I even reached into my jacket, I’d be shot.

“Or,” the sheriff continued. “You could use the sense you were born with and go home. Hell, I’ll even have Dretti drop off more heroin before you get there. You’ve run me up quite a tab with that boy over the years.”

My dad is my fucking supplier. How stupid was I? Fuck, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d paid for my drugs. He’d been keeping me harmless and docile for years and I’d let him do it. Who the fuck was this person that I had once loved most in my life?

“No. I have questions you have to answer.” I told him through the burning in my throat.

“Now, that’s where you’re wrong, Sammy. I don’t have to do anything, ever.”

“Why did you hurt Whitney?”

The sheriff yanked his gun out of his holster and then crossed his arms in front of him pointing it at the ground. “The only thing I did to Whitney was avenge her death.”

“No. You raped her.”

The sheriff stepped forward and cracked me across the face so hard with his pistol that I felt bones snap in my nose. I fell back into the snow and before my vision had even cleared, he snapped one of my ribs with the toe of his boot. I lay curled on my side for a few seconds while the pain radiated from my chest to my spine and scattered to every nerve in my body. I really wished I’d had some H. If I were high enough death would feel like a glorious footnote.

When the pain was verging on manageable I rolled over and got up on my hands and knees, spitting blood into the snow. I raised my head to look up at my father. He was still standing above me, fist clenching the butt of his gun and a red rage spread across his face.

“Bit of a sore spot?” I coughed.

“Don’t you ever say anything so filthy about your sister ever again or I will shove my gun up under that ballistic vest and shoot you in the fucking gut.”

I needed him angry, but not angry enough to kill me – not yet. “What happened to my mother.” I grimaced. Speaking hurt.

The sheriff stepped back and smiled – his composure regained. “What a woman she was. But I’m afraid she died in a freak accident some years ago.”

“I don’t believe you.” I said and sat back on knees, struggling to breathe. Slow breaths. Get the air in. Don’t pass out.

“I don’t give a shit if you believe me. This conversation is getting boring, this isn’t a fucking Q and A. You had your chance to leave and instead you decided to say disgusting things about your sister.”

“Was l wrong?”

“You were talking about things you know nothing about. I loved Whitney.”

“You’re a fucking monster.”

“Is that any way to talk to your father? You know, I think Grigg needs to teach you some more fucking respect.”

“Fuck you. I know what you did to Kimber.”

“Oh yeah? Would you rather it had been someone she didn’t know? Someone that disgusted her like that geriatric fuck Clery or Prescott over here?” He jabbed a thumb back at Jimmy.

“I would rather it have been no one!” I screamed at him, bloody spit flying across the space between and landing on his jacket. He backhanded me but this time I didn’t fall.

“You watch your tone with me, boy. It’s bad enough that my men are here to see what a fucking joke my own son has become. It’s fucking embarrassing.”

“Then send them inside. Let’s talk just you and me.”

“You think I’m scared of you, Sammy? I don’t even think you have two bullets. I think you’ve got one. And I think you want to use it on me. Well go ahead, son. Pull that gun on me so I can kill you nice and legal.”

“Not until I know why you did this. You were my dad, I loved you.”

He laughed. “You don’t look like any son of mine.”

“But more importantly you were a cop. You were supposed to protect people!”

“No, Sammy, I’m a businessman. Always have been, even back then. Why the fuck do you think we came to Drisking in the first place?”

I remembered. I hadn’t understood it at that young age but I knew now what the whispers had meant. “Because of those girls. And the things they said you did.”

“Exactly. I was making money. They were getting laid.”

“They were 14.” I growled.

“14 is older than you think, Sam. And it’s not like I touched them.”

“So this is what you wanted all along? A great, big rape empire?”

The sheriff shrugged. “If that’s what it takes. I’m only here for the power and the women. I’m an alpha, Sam, that’s why I can’t figure out what the fuck happened to you. You’ve got the blood of kings running through your veins and you fill them with tar. That shit is for the fucking women but I have to send it out to your handler every month. My only son is a white trash drug addict. How do you think that makes me feel? This should be your birthright and you’re too weak to take it.”

“Give me more credit. I’m stronger than you think.”

“Strong enough to take a bullet to the head and live through it?” He laughed.

“Are you?”

The sheriff’s expression darkened. “Sam, you-“

“Oy boss! Look what I caught lurking around.” Fifteen. Fifteen men. Two men I hadn’t seen previously came around the side of the dorm pushing a woman in front of them.

“Kimber.” I breathed. But the sheriff knew who she was.

“I’m- I’m sorry, Sam. They- they-” She stammered.

“Well,” the sheriff drew out the word. “I heard you turned into a looker but I’d yet to confirm it for myself. Hello again, sweetheart.”

The sheriff walked over to Kimber and ran his fingers along the side of her face. She recoiled at his touch.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” I screamed and scrambled to my feet. Grigg shoved the barrel of his gun into the back of my head.

“Sit the fuck down.” He warned.

“Watch your temper, Sammy,” the sheriff chided. “You fucking this wild filly? That’s my boy. At least I know you didn’t turn homo in prison.”

“Stay away from her, you fucking pervert!” Blood was rushing in my ears and the rage in me was deafening.

“Sam, stop!” Kimber screamed. “Just stop or he’ll kill you!”

The sheriff looked back to nod at Grigg, who cracked stars into the back of my head with his fist.

“Manners, Sam. That’s not how you talk in front of a lady, I’ve had enough goddamn disrespect from you. This is your last fucking warning.” The sheriff turned to Kimber and yanked her hair towards him so that their faces were almost touching. She writhed against the man behind her holding her arms. “Soon, princess. We’ll catch up soon.”

The sheriff let go of Kimber’s hair and walked back to stand in front of me. “Where were we?”

“Let Kimber go. Let her go and I’ll do anything you want.”

“Oh really, anything?”

“Yes, just let her go.”

“Would you leave here and never come back?”

“Yes.”

“Would you stay and help me run my business?”

I wheezed through a deep breath. “Yes.”

“Would you go inside right now and fuck one of our girls?”

“Y-yes.” Please don’t call that fucking bluff.

“No, Sam!” Kimber yelled.

“Richards, would you shut her the fuck up?” The sheriff asked. I heard a sickening thud but couldn’t see through the blood running into my eyes from the split on my forehead. Kimber gasped.

“Now, then,” the sheriff continued. “How about Phoebe Dranger? If I recall she was a raging cunt to you in high school. Why don’t you go in there and take some vengeance for yourself? I’m sure she’d love it.”

“I don’t- I- she- she’s not really my type.”

“Oh? I guess Kimber Destaro is more your type, isn’t she?”

“No.” I said quickly. “No, somebody else. Anybody else.”

“What a fucking pussy.” Jimmy Prescott laughed. “Look, this family reunion had been real sweet and all but we’ve got investors coming into town today and a lot of fucking shit to do before they get here. Plus, it’s early as balls and I need more fucking coffee. Can we just kill this little prick and get on with our day?”

The sheriff shot Jimmy an annoyed look. “Do I look like I need to be fucking entertained right now? Did I tell my monkey to dance? No, I fucking didn’t so shut the fuck up, Monkey.”

Jimmy shrugged and took a sip of coffee.

“Actually, Jimmy, on second thought take the girl inside and find her a new home.” The sheriff said. “Make yourself fucking useful.”

“No-no-no-no-no…you-you can’t take her in there,” I begged. “Please, I’ll do anything, Dad, please, just don’t make her go in there.”

The sheriff turned around to give me a disgusted look and shook his head in disappointment. Then, without even turning to look at her, the sheriff shot Kimber in the chest where she stood and she fell over into the snow without making a sound.